LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

SATURDAY – QUESTION AND ANSWER 

Question#1.  How important is intimate conversation?

Answer #1.

According to an article I read recently, the typical couple spend only four minutes a day in meaningful conversation with each other.  Four minutes!  That’s less time than the commercial breaks during a half-hour program.

A lot of us husbands don’t realize that in order for our wives to consider us romantic, we must first of all be great friends and conversationalists.  Grunts and one-word answers just won’t cut it!  Too many women feel that their husbands don’t really need them— and bare-bones conversation confirms their sense of low personal value.

Many men who once were accomplished at deep conversation during courtship, seem to lose this talent later.  You can rediscover the groove!  Make a commitment to learn to make intimate conversation a priority with your wife.  You need to talk and fill her in on the details of your life– not just facts, but feelings.

When a husband sincerely shows his desire for conversation and a deepening relationship–emotional intimacy–he will find that his wife is much more interested in sexual intimacy.  Her dreams, hopes, desires, and disappointments are no longer divorced from the marriage bed, but are a part of it.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHAT IS BUGGING YOUR SPOUSE?

 One of the things that really bug’s a wife is that her husband never asks for directions when he is lost.

And a big AMEN from me!  Lol!!!

Well wives I have an eye opener for you, us wives need directions also.

How many times are you totally OFF TRACK in your thinking, but you don’t ask for help.

David wrote in Psalms 23 that the LORD is His shepherd.

David was a shepherd and he knew how VITAL it was to keep his sheep from straying and he protected them from thieves and wild animals by forfeiting his own life.

YAHWEH ROI is the one true shepherd for His people.

 “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

For his name’s sake.”  (Psalm 23:1-3)

God gently, through His precious Holy Spirit, brings you back when you wander from God’s way of righteousness.

When you are going through DARK times in your marriage, He is there constantly caring for you.

He watches over you night and day because we are like sheep, when we are vulnerable, we start to panic.

CASE AND POINT:  My father-in-law (who lived with us for 17 years), my aunt (my mothers sister who I was very close to), and my mother and father, all died within a year and a half.  It is said that it takes about 2 years to get over the death of a family member.  I didn’t get 2 year intervals to finish mourning before another death was to be dealt with.

I can testify that God truly “restored my soul” and our family was able to deal with grief and gain supernatural strength to stay focused on Jesus during our ordeal.

Scripture tells us that without Christ, we have no direction.

Without Christ you cannot CONTROL your attraction to sin, or your selfish nature.

How can you keep your spiritual life on course without Christ.

Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” and the “Good Shepherd.”  He became a part of the flock like us by laying down His life.

Because Jesus was the Lamb of God, we can truly live.

Do you let your fears dictate to you how to respond to the issues of life?

YAHWEH ROI, our LORD the Shepherd, has left us His promises.

Psa.23:4 “Even though I walk

Through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

For you are with me;

Your rod and your staff,

They comfort me. 

Is the devil lying to you that your marriage is not going to make it?

Does he tell you that you are missing out on LIFE?

Are you afraid of what you will do if something happens to your spouse?

Fear is powerful and it will push you into the WRONG path.

Insecurity and anxiety will overwhelm you if you let fear shape your behavior and choices.

Stay on the right path as you allow the Holy Spirit to DIRECT your marital life.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

IS YOUR MARRIAGE SHAKY?

  If we look at the statistics for a lasting marriage, our hopes seem dim.

There is about a 50% chance that our marriage will not make it.

 God doesn’t go by statistics nor does he worry.

Our LORD is the “rock” and He represents steadfast faithfulness, protection and permanence.

Psa.144:1 “Praise the LORD my Rock,

who trains my hands for war

my fingers for battle.”

 “The LORD my Rock” in Hebrew is YAHWEH TSURI.

 The Hebrew word Tsuri is translated “rock”.

Was there ever a time in your life when you felt very vulnerable?

When you cried out for HELP did God hear your cries?

In 1Samuel, Hannah cried out to God for a child and when that child was born she gave God a great prayer of praise.

1Sam.2:2 “…there is no Rock like our God.”

When you pray, YAHWEH TSURI is the God who you can always count on.

CASE AND POINT:  I remember the day that my dad abandoned our family when I was thirteen.  I was fearful and could not sleep at night.  Fear of someone coming in and hurting our family overcame me.  Since there was no one to protect us, I slept in the closet hoping that an intruder would not find me.   It took a few months, but eventually my mother moved to a better neighborhood and I adjusted to the fact that my dad wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Psa.144:2 “He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold  and my deliverer…”

Confess to God if you have a habit of worrying which will hinder you from trusting God.

Is something shaking your CONFIDENCE that you are facing today?  Is it in your marriage?  Trouble in your home?

Keep your focus on Jesus no matter how devastating life may seem.

Are you looking at the circumstances around you and are becoming very disturbed?  This can rip into your marriage.

Build your life and your marriage on the word of God.

Remember, YAHWEH TSURI is the rock that spoke to the Israelites.

No matter what beats against your house or your marriage, remember that your foundation is securely built on the rock.

Keep in mind that blessings come not by wishing but by YIELDING to the Holy Spirit that is within you and he is there to guide you.

Decide to partner with God to build a better marriage by sticking to Gods commandments, staying in His word and spending more time in prayer.

When life begins to shake and crumble around you, the LORD who is the eternal Rock will be there to give you strength and rest.

Jesus was the spiritual rock that was with God’s people in the desert.

1Cor.10:4 “And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.”

You are a living stone with Christ as the cornerstone.

1Pet.2:4-8 “…I lay in Sion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded…a rock of offence..”

You have security in Christ!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

DOES YOUR SPOUSE OFFEND YOU?

An oxymoron is conjoining contradictory terms (as in “deafening silence”).

How do you have “great peace” in marriage?

We always turn to God’s word for our answers to marital or any other problems.

Psa.119:165 KJV “Great peace have they which love the law: and nothing shall offend them.”

A woman can take wounds from a friend and be ready to patch things up but when it comes from her spouse, she BLEEDS to death.

When a friend offends, it is iron sharpening iron, but when the husband does, the sparks will fly.

Why is it that a woman can act REASONABLE with strangers yet become easily offended with her husband?

This happens when we do not apply Gods word to our life.

Live by Gods word and you WON’T be so offended by your spouse.

The result of love for God and His word is “great peace.”

When you are obedient to God’s word, it will keep you from being offended from any person, especially your spouse.

Phil.4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

 God demands that we do not offend our spouse but he also demands that we live free from not being offended by any one.

In Judges 6:24, Gideon built an altar to the LORD and called it “…the LORD of peace…” , YAHWEH SHALOM.

 SHALOM is a Hebrew word which implies “peace”.

If there is any pattern in your life or marriage that keeps you from experiencing God’s peace, confess it to God.

God desires to free you from spiritual OPPRESSION.

The peace we long for in our marriage can only come from God.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that peace comes from having a PERFECT relationship.

Practicing the presence of God is the only way to have real peace.

What has caused you to be so BUSY that you have not practiced Gods presence or you are not seeking His face?

What is making you frustrated and anxious?

What is STEALING your peace?

Have you corroded your faith because of compromises you have made?

Cry out to God and he will DRAW you into His presence.

Confess any lack of faith in God to bring peace to your marriage.

To be at peace with God, your spouse and yourself , live in the presence of God through the POWER of the Holy Spirit.

Call on the name of Jesus!!

Fighting the “good fight” and loving it.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHERE’S OUR MARITAL “ZING?”

 God calls a marriage union his “holy institution” in Malachi.

 Mal.2:11 “…For Judah has profaned the LORDS holy institution which He loves…”

The word “holiness” in the bible refers to something that is separated and sacred.

Holiness involves you separating yourself from sinful attitudes.

You can’t separate yourself from sinful people or a sinful world, but you have been liberated from sins grip.

Lev.19:1-2” The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: “Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.”” 

God was called QEDOSH YISRAEL, which in Hebrew means “Holy One of Israel”.

The people of Israel became “holy” because God chose them to be set apart.

In every relationship, the Israelites were to reflect their devotion and commitment to God by displaying and honoring His character.

God’s holiness involves absolute hostility towards sin and not just separation from sin.

Holiness involves Gods love, mercy, knowledge, goodness, justice and power.

The Holy Spirit enables you to imitate Christ’s holiness if you are a believer.

God’s presence is overpowering and when we are in His midst we will immediately see our sin.

God wants to reveal to us areas in our marriage that are falling short of His holiness.

There are times in our Christian walk when we feel our marriage dry up and our relationship with God dry up.

We start to drift as troubles mount and pleasures start to entice us.

Does it seem like your heart has grown empty and cold?

Do you wonder what happened to the “zing” that was once there?

Are you starting to slip back into old sinful habits and patterns?

Without holiness, no one will see God.

Heb.12:14 “Follow after peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.”

Be fully awake to God’s life within us with a passionate commitment.

Are you hanging out with anyone who is sexually immoral?

Are you listening to anyone who is greedy and selfish?

Are you staying clear from all idolaters and slanderers?

Don’t be influenced by a drunkard!

I will end with Leviticus 19:1-4, 9-18 for you to read what the Israelites were told what holiness is and what God expected of them:

The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.”

’Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths.  I am the LORD your God.

“’Do not turn to idols or make gods of cast metal for yourselves. I am the LORD your God…

“’When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest.  Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen.  Leave them for the poor and the alien.  I am the LORD your God.

“’Do not steal.

“’Do not lie.

“’Do not deceive one another.

“’Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not defraud your neighbor or rob him.

“’Do not hold back the wages of a hired man overnight.

“’Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.

“’Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not hate your brother in your heart.  Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.

“’Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.  I am the LORD.’”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

JEALOUSY IS PAINFUL

Unfaithfulness in a marriage emotionally cuts to core of our heart.

It affects everyone around mainly close friends and family.

Children never recover and have to live with rejection and distrust.

Have you ever asked God why this is experienced here on earth?

We know that because of Lucifer we all live in a wicked and immoral world.

One of the things I experienced was Gods tender understanding after I became a member of his family.

God understands because he is God, EL KANNA, a jealous God who loves us completely.

CASE AND POINT:  Before I became a Christian, I was extremely jealous.  I had no reason to be, but it was deeply embedded in my heart.  I felt like I had nothing: no looks, no intelligence, no personality, no money and no father.  I was jealous of everyone.  I just wanted to be everyone else.  When I got married, I felt like I didn’t deserve such a wonderful man.  I thought if anyone new what a great man I was married to, everyone would want him.  My husband has never done anything to make me jealous or suspicious.  This jealousy had nothing to do with my husband, it had to do with my insecurities.  Thank God when I got saved it was the first thing God dealt with.  He showed me that He had a place in heaven for me with my name in it.  I was going to heaven, a privileged place for those he handpicked to be with him.   I felt the jealousy melt as I realized God is “fair” and “just.”  Once in a great while, jealousy “rears its ugly head” and I say, “Find another sucker.  I am a child of the King.”  I suffered with jealousy for 26 years.  JEALOUSY NO MORE!!

We read in Gods word that he is a jealous God but it is a different kind of jealousy.

Ex.34:14 “Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, (EL KANNA) is a jealous God.”

 God is a jealous God who cannot endure unfaithfulness.

Joseph Addison, an English poet said, “Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves.”

God wants us to equally return his passion and he will not be satisfied till we do.

Have you asked God for His grace to stay faithful to your spouse and to be faithful to God regardless of outside pressures or temptations?

Remember that your marriage is His “Holy Institution” and he desires that you be faithful to the end.

In order to live peaceably, be tolerant of your spouse and respect each other’s differences.

Deut.4:23-24 “Be careful not to forget the covenant of the LORD your God…For  the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God (EL KANNA). 

When scriptures portray God as a consuming fire, it shows his divine anger against the sins of men and nations.

When we oppose our marital vows, God views us as a sinful terrorist to His “Holy Institution”.  You now have to deal with ESH OKLAH, God the consuming fire.

When our love for God and obedience to His marriage treaty are respected he becomes a “wall of fire” to protect and deliver us.

Zech.2:5 “I myself will be a wall of fire around it, declares the LORD…”

Gods consuming fire shows his holiness, and his purpose to restore the proper relationship with us.

Remain faithful to both relationships: God and spouse.

You have made a vow and covenant.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HARD QUESTIONS

WHEN GOD FINALLY ANSWERED Job out of the whirlwind, He answered the man’s questions with some much harder questions of His own.  In the spirit of hard questions, I have a few I’d like to ask of the contemporary church.

Why is the divorce rate inside the church nearly identical to the divorce rate outside the church?

Why do so many Christian men perform aggressively at work and remain so disengaged and passive at home?

Why are so many Christian parents negative about having and rearing children?

Why do so many Christians say their secular job is their ministry, but show so little fruit for their effort?

Why do Christians talk about family values while their lifestyles are virtually identical to the average non-Christian?

Why have so many Christians in  full-time ministry washed out because of immorality and impurity?

Why is the fifth commandment —to honor our parents–neglected by large numbers of Christians?

Why do less than 10 percent of all Christians regularly tell others about God’s forgiveness and the new life found in Christ?

If Jesus Christ changes lives, then why do 50 million American’s claiming to be born again have such a marginal impact on society?

I believe the answer to each of these questions can be tied to failure to obey and take  seriously the lordship of Christ in our lives.  When we learn to humbly trust and obey God, He brings personal transformation.  And that’s how cultures are changed—one person and one home at a time.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION AND ANSWER

Question #1.  How are forgiveness and romance related?

Answer #1.  

There’s nothing worse than lying in the darkness, back-to-back, and fuming about some pretty argument.  Satan is out to destroy marriages, and one of his best tools is unresolved conflict.  No wonder Paul urged believers: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph.4:32).

How did Christ forgive us?  By laying down His life.  He didn’t wait until we apologized.  He took the initiative to forgive.  I should do the same, even when I feel my husband is clearly in the wrong.  Sometimes it is much easier for me to see only what he did wrong than it is for me to admit my part in the conflict.

When conflict arises, I must resist my tendency to run from the confrontation and, instead, run towards forgiveness.  I must choose to listen, to imagine how my husband feels, and to pray for wisdom, understanding, and God’s help to work it all out.

Seek help from a Christian counselor if needed.  But for the sake of your marriage, forgive, “not…up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matt.18:22).  Allow Christ to use His resurrection power to heal and restore your marriage.

Forgiveness guards our hearts from bitterness and creates fertile soil in which romance and love can grow.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

MARRIAGE UNDER ATTACK

A red flag often serves as a warning signal and is widely used as a bad weather warning.

A red flag weather warning can save many LIVES.

In the O.T. they used banners to warn the Jews that they were being attacked and had to get ready for battle.  The banners were place strategically as a rallying point so that the troops could see them before a battle.

When our marriage is under attack, we need to call out to God, YAHWEH NISSI.

 Moses built an altar and called it YAHWEH NISSI that means “The LORD is my Banner.”

GOD intervened to make the Israelites victorious over their enemy after crossing the Red Sea.  This was their first battle

Ex.17:8-16  “For hands were lifted up to the throne of the LORD.  The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.”

 As you face spiritual battles of any kind you will be confident in the Lords protection and power.

Do you try to fight your own battles with your own strength?

Use the power of God’s strength as you fight many battles on your way to the promised land: HEAVEN.

God alone, YAHWEH NISSI, gives you victory no matter how fierce the enemy.

CASE AND POINT:  Many years ago my husband and I went to the Ronald Reagan Library.  There was an array of articles that had so much history attached to them.  At one part of this museum stood a section of the Berlin Wall that was donated to the Library.  This was the wall that divided East Germany from West Germany.  When the wall came down, the world cheered because now the people in East Germany were free.  We were able to purchase a tiny piece of this wall which hangs in my husbands office.  The people who now gained their freedom were left to face an enormous battle.  These people now had to adjust into other European countries in order to survive which was a very hard and long process.

This is exactly what happened to the Jews while crossing the Red Sea and trying to get to their promise land.  They encountered their first battle with the Amalekites, which resulted in victory for the Israelites.

As you may be facing many marital battles coming against your marriage, don’t neglect to hold up the banner of God’s power high.

Has your life been fueled with disappointment and you are now lacking faith?

You must ask God, YAHWEH NISSI, to put a fighting spirit in you for your children.

Ultimately, they need to see you put your trust and faith in a powerful God.

Ask God to wave His banner for your children to see.

1Cor.1:18 “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.”

Live under the banner of the cross of Christ.

Ask God for help in your life and in your marriage!!!

Raise that “Red Flag”.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HEALING A BROKEN HEART

Yes, wash your hands!!  Why?

God’s word tells us to wash our hands for a very good reason.

Lev.15:11 “And whomsoever he toucheth that hath the issue, and hath not rinsed his hands in water, he shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.”

These verses are to bring us to the realization that God’s laws are not there to hurt us but to protect us.

What makes the verses in Leviticus so odd for those days, is that 150 years ago surgeons did not even wash their hands before operating on someone.  Bacteria multiplies 281, 500, 000, 000, 000 times in 24 hours.

Stay with me now cause I’m going somewhere with this.  God divinely gave the Jews wisdom concerning physical cleanliness when at that time no other nation knew about bacteria.

Moses was way ahead of his time by thousands of years, giving them sanitation and health laws along with prevention and treatment of diseases.  HALLELUJAH!

God provided instructions that prevented us from becoming ill to begin with.

That excites me because YAHWEH ROPHE, “the Lord who heals, is the source of all healing.

He not only heals your body he heals your mind and soul.

YAHWEH ROPHE, “the Lord who heals”, can heal your marriage just put your trust in him.

Give him the time and liberty to search your heart and let him tell you what it contains.

If we ask for forgiveness and obey his word, he promises to heal you.

Ex.15:26 NKJV “If you diligently heed the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statues, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians.  For I am the LORD who heals you.”

Jesus tells us that when a person is sick it doesn’t means that it is caused because of sin from the sick person. It can be because we are living in a sinful and fallen world.

For married couples, He provided moral laws to protect from spiritual diseases as well as physical illnesses.

It’s amazing how Jesus healed the blind in front of spiritually blind people.

Have faith and pray for healing knowing that YAHWEH ROPHE, is a God who heals.

Jas.5:14-15 “”…And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.”

God heals the brokenhearted.

Psa.147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

Let Him heal you.

Let Him heal your marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.