LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

MARRIAGE FORTRESS FOREVER

What does a fortress have to do with marriage?  Everything!!!

A fortress is a fortified (secured) place, especially a large, permanent military stronghold that often includes a town.

In Psa.91:2 God is called our “fortress” or METSUDA

Psa. 91:2 “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

Where do you go when things go wrong and times get hard in your marriage?  Your mother?  Sister?  Best Friend?  Co-worker?

Are there times when you have taken refuge in anything and everything but God?

What keeps you from EXPERIENCING God as your fortress?

Could it be your pride?

Do you seek shelter somewhere else because you get ANGRY with God for letting you down?

When we wait on God, we are telling him that we will put our trust in Him to do what is right for our lives.

Maybe you FEEL unworthy or guilty of asking God for his help.

The devil is a liar and he will lie to you in order to keep you from going to God.

Do you think that your marital situation is IMPOSSIBLE?

He loves those impossible issues because then you will know it was him who created a miracle.

No one else can get HIS glory!!!

God doesn’t want to just dwell with His people, He wants to dwell within His people.

He is someone that you can RUN to for safety and security.

The City of Refuge in the Old Testament was somewhere that a person could run to if they had accidently killed someone.  This place was within a day’s journey since they were strategically placed at various places in Israel.

God is compared to an eagle or a great bird.  This is where the RIGHTEOUS can find shelter.

In the same way Jesus is our fortress and our strength.

Fortress walls were about 25 feet high and 25 feet thick in the Old Testament.  People would work outside the walls during the day and then at night they could come inside the walls protection.

In Matthew, Jesus expressed how a mother hen longs to gather her chicks under her wings.

“…how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”  Matt.23:37

Your life will be different if you let God shelter you under His wings.

As a couple, learn to take SHELTER behind those fortress walls.

NOTE:  Everyday there is a new post with helpful information to encourage your marriage.

DIVINE SUPPLIES FOR COUPLES

  So many times right after couples get married, they call the church office to get marital advice.

The worse case scenario was one bride who called the church after being married just 2 days.

We were shocked to hear her say she was done with her marriage because he was not doing what she wanted.

I am sure that the husband wanted to call also for some divine marital handbook.

Although it is a rarity, we do get couples that call during their “honeymoon stage” and ask for advice to avoid their daily arguments.

What we have found is the devil comes in like a flood and overwhelms them with lies.

This can bring death to a marriage but we have a God who is alive!

2King, 19:16 “… listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the living GOD”

 The word “Living God” in Hebrew is EL CHAY.

Thank God for breathing life into you and into your marriage.

He is a God who hears, who speaks and who acts.

CASE AND POINT:  When my daughter was about 2 years old, she had a Minnie mouse doll.  We took her to Disneyland and she went crazy when she saw Minnie mouse walking around.  She hugged her and we spent about an hour just hugging Minnie cause our daughter didn’t want to leave her.  When we got home, she grabbed her Minnie doll and started pulling her legs and arms.  She was very disappointed because her Minnie would not walk around or hug her.  We could not stop laughing cause we had never seen her so frustrated.

Many of us are like that.  We own a Minnie doll.

Is your god a dead god with no life just like Minnie.

Unlike idols made by human hands, the “living God” is our source to a better marriage.

Why do we need a “Living God” to help us?

We need a “Living God” because we need help with the attacks on the outside but also on the inside of us.

The devil lies to us and tells us that we cannot control our emotions, our bad habits, addictions, etc.

As things begin to look hopeless, we fall into depression.

What poison is being fed to you right now which you think is too big for God’s power to deliver you.

Reject all lies and lay out your requests to the “Living God.”

God’s specialty is to drive out the enemies that continue to harass you.

God loves a “good fight” because He always comes out winning!!

The angel of the LORD killed 185,000 men in the Assyrian camp in one night.

Tell God that you do not want to control your life anymore but you want to be controlled by His living Holy Spirit who is powerful.

There is a well of “living water” that is never in short supply which Jesus talked about.

In John 4:14, Jesus tells us about the all powerful “Living God” who makes His home in us.

Don’t fight your own fights; let God do the fighting.

NOTE:  Tomorrow there will be encouraging information to make a great marriage.

GOD’S ADULTEROUS SPOUSE

Most spouses trust that on their wedding day the vows that are taken will be fulfilled until “death”.

If you have experienced infidelity in marriage, you know exactly the pain others have had to fight through.

God knows and experiences this pain on a DAILY bases.

He had a passionate love for Israel who ended up turning to idols of stone and wood.

God is the IDEAL perfect husband who provides and protects us, his people.

He refuses to divorce us no matter how unfaithful we may be.

“In that day,” declares the LORD,

“you will call me ‘my HUSBAND’;

you will no longer call me ‘my master’…

I will betroth you to me forever;

I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,

in love and compassion.

I will betroth you in faithfulness,

And you will acknowledge the LORD.”   (Hosea 2:16, 19-20)

In Hebrew the word for husband is ish.

When God told Israel that he was ish, their husband, he was telling them that this was the ideal relationship from a perfect husband.

The big problem that wives make is that they want their husband to be perfect with them.

This is an impossible TASK because that is Gods job to be the perfect husband.

The New Testament states that Jesus is our bridegroom and the church is his bride.

Our purpose is not to try and CHANGE our spouse, our greatest purpose as Jesus’ people, is to become His bride.

You might look at your relationship with your husband to be the strangest match because of differences.

There is no STRANGER match in History than between God and the Israelites.

Israel was weak, sinful, foolish, powerless and unfaithful yet He said , “I will betroth you to me forever.”

Don’t settle for a relationship that will keep God at arms length.

God desires to be intimate with you but unfortunately you are an IDOL worshipper.

YES, YOU!!!

Let’s gauge how susceptible you really are!!

How do you spend your time on these precious resources?

Your time?  Your talents?  Your money?

What portion of your day is spent thinking about God or what portion is spent on your idolatrous attachments?

You can ask God for forgiveness and change today.

Let God be your husband, ISH.

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will have marital insights for your marriage.

ROYAL MANSION FOR EVERY SPOUSE

We often forget that if you are a believer in Christ, you have been promised a mansion.

In the United States, a mansion is a dwelling that is over 8,ooo square feet.

Can you imagine cleaning that place everyday?

Jesus said in John 14:2, “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you.”

I can’t even imagine what these mansions will look like.

CASE AND POINT: I have never been in a mansion but when my husband and I were missionaries in England, we had to visit a Christian school right outside of London.  As we pulled into the gates, and viewed this beautiful edifice, I felt like I was in an exotic, romantic, fairy tale land.  It looked like a huge mansion on this enormous lot of lush green grass.  It seemed like we were driving up in a carriage.  It used to be a hospital/rest home for the elderly.

If you and I could just have a glimpse of that mansion, I don’t have any doubt that we would obey all His commandments.

God doesn’t want us to obey Him because we have a mansion, He desires that we do it because we love Him and want to be with Him in ETERNITY.

My kids are always nice when I am giving or lending them money.  But during times of discipline, sometimes an attitude “rears its ugly head.”

Sound familiar???   This is the same reaction that God has to deal with when he tries to instruct us.

The Israelites believed that YAHWEH was MELEK.

MELEK  means “King” and the Israelites knew that he was king, not just over them, but over every nation on the earth.

Jesus is the “King of kings”, who demonstrated perfect obedience here on earth for us.

When you pray to YAHWEH MELEK, you are praying to the God who watches over the whole earth.

Psa.47:7  “God is King of all the earth.”

What kind of a spouse would you be if you really believed that in a few short years you would inherit a mansion?

How would you act as a spouse if you really believed that you would in a short time inherit everything your heart desires?

Do you desire to be in this PLACE where there is no more crying, no more worrying, no more loneliness and no more being misunderstood?

How are you acting since you know that you will be going in just a few short years, to a place where you will always love and be loved?

This is a place where every need of yours will be fulfilled.

Why isn’t this KNOWLEDGE making you a better spouse and putting everything in the right perspective?

Are you still trying to stockpile what this world has to offer?

Ask God to give you a growing desire for your new world to come so you can have the right Christian VALUES here and now towards your marriage.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.”  Matt. 25:34

Let ‘s act like royalty.

Let’s live like royals who are headed to the home of the King of kings, and Lord of lords.

NOTE:  Tomorrow is another new marriage post to give you marital insight.

SPOUSES WITHOUT DRIVING DIRECTIONS

 One of the things that really bug’s a wife is that her husband never asks for directions when he is lost.

And a big AMEN from me!  Lol!!!

Well wives I have an eye opener for you, us wives need directions also.

How many times are you totally OFF TRACK in your thinking, but you don’t ask for help.

David wrote in Psalms 23 that the LORD is His shepherd.

David was a shepherd and he knew how VITAL it was to keep his sheep from straying and he protected them from thieves and wild animals by forfeiting his own life.

YAHWEH ROI is the one true shepherd for His people.

 “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

For his name’s sake.”  (Psalm 23:1-3)

God gently, through His precious Holy Spirit, brings you back when you wander from God’s way of righteousness.

When you are going through DARK times in your marriage, He is there constantly caring for you.

He watches over you night and day because we are like sheep, when we are vulnerable, we start to panic.

CASE AND POINT:  My father-in-law (who lived with us for 17 years), my aunt (my mothers sister who I was very close to), and my mother and father, all died within a year and a half.  It is said that it takes about 2 years to get over the death of a family member.  I didn’t get 2 year intervals to finish mourning before another death was to be dealt with.

I can testify that God truly “restored my soul” and our family was able to deal with grief and gain supernatural strength to stay focused on Jesus during our ordeal.

Scripture tells us that without Christ, we have no direction.

Without Christ you cannot CONTROL your attraction to sin, or your selfish nature.

How can you keep your spiritual life on course without Christ.

Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” and the “Good Shepherd.”  He became a part of the flock like us by laying down His life.

Because Jesus was the Lamb of God, we can truly live.

Do you let your fears dictate to you how to respond to the issues of life?

YAHWEH ROI, our LORD the Shepherd, has left us His promises.

Psa.23:4 “Even though I walk

Through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

For you are with me;

Your rod and your staff,

They comfort me. 

Is the devil lying to you that your marriage is not going to make it?

Does he tell you that you are missing out on LIFE?

Are you afraid of what you will do if something happens to your spouse?

Fear is powerful and it will push you into the WRONG path.

Security and anxiety will overwhelm you if you let fear shape your behavior and choices.

Stay on the right path as you allow the Holy Spirit to DIRECT your marital life.

NOTE:  Tomorrow there will be a new post to give you insight on  your marriage.

RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND

THE APOSTLE PETER calls special attention to the title Sarah used in addressing her husband, “my Lord” (Gen. 18:12; see 1Pet.3:6).  She used this title as a way to show Abraham her respect.

In a similar way, the apostle Paul writes, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Eph.5:33).  When you respect your husband, you reverence him, notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him.  It means you value his opinion, admire his wisdom and character, appreciate his commitment to you, and consider his needs and values.

Husbands have many needs!  One day Dennis gave me a list of what he considered to be some of the things that communicate respect to most men:

*  Expressing confidence in him as a man

*  Listening to him

*  Being a friend and enjoying companionship

*  Letting him know that he’s needed

These are just a few of the many ways a wife can show that she respects her husband.  To bolster Dennis’s confidence, for example, I try to be his number one fan.  Every husband wants his wife to be on his team and to coach him when necessary–but most of all, to be his cheer-leader.  A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him, and cheering him on.

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will have more important information to have a successful marriage.

NOTE:  This article was from Family Life marriage bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

SATURDAY QUESTION AND ANSWER

Question #1.  My husband and I are almost through raising our kids.  We both have worked hard in full time ministry which is continuing to grow.  My husband is an excellent and affectionate man.  However, a few years ago, I noticed that he began to change.  He seemed distant, disinterested, and seemed overwhelmed. Because we are together night and day working in ministry, I know that there was not a person who was being a distraction in his life.  I feel like he doesn’t love me like he did, although I know that he is faithful and committed to his family and to his God.  What can I do?

Answer #1.  Thank you for your question.  There isn’t a lot of information nor is there enough time to explore this in a way that would be fair to you and your husband.  What I will do is address it in general, and bring to light some issues that I hope will help you.

Jesus went through attacks during his ministry, so will every one and every minister that spreads the gospel.  They are not exempt from what every other man goes through in life.   The difference is that they turn to God and not women, money, sex, drugs, alcohol, power and etc.

Just like women go through menopause, PMS, and various women’s issues that change her body chemistry and anxiety, men go through their different stages in life.  Several years ago, I saw changes in my husband and I can share with you what God showed me in hopes that it will help other women.

1.  Your husband could be overwhelmed.  The size of our ministry is very sizeable.  Although we have other ministers on staff, as senior pastor, my husband carries the whole load on his shoulders.   Like Moses, it becomes heavy at some point.  Moses could have refused help and let his arms fail him which would have brought defeat to the nation of Israel.

2.  There could be failures he has no control over.  There are an array of mishaps in ministry that can make your husband feel like a failure.  Although your husband knows these issues are out of his control, he still has to answer to people and to God.  The bigger your church, the more of a build up this could be.

3.  As a wife, you could be aggravating by complaining.  As comical as this may sound it is true.  Every wife has good intentions to be a “helpmeet”.  The problem is that our husbands end up not having a resting place.  They have problems at work with people, with their children, then with their wife. We need to learn to “shut up.”  God told me not to tell my husband the church problems.  I was devastated!!!  Who was I going to tell then?  He said to me to let the other men on staff take the problems to him.  I had to be a “soft pillow” for him to rest his mind.  I was to also solve as many problems quietly without adding to his list.  It seemed so unfair at first.  God gave me the strength and encouragement that I needed to be the wife he wanted me to be.

4.  His family takes a tole on him.  He is expected to be provider and protector to his family.  This is an impossible task to do all of the time.  This is Gods job and we are to go to God for these things.  However, we have high expectations that we put on our husbands.  On top of that, we keep our husbands aware of everything that is going wrong with the children and expect him to solve it our way.  Instead of making everything an issue, we need to put out the fires and pray.

5.  His needs are not being met.  Instead of looking at your needs, you need to look at his needs.  Trust me, men have so many needs.  Starting with SEX, RESPECT, ADMIRATION, ROMANCE, a LISTENING EAR, a SMILE, APPRECIATION and I could go on.  I won’t because I want you to ask God what your husband needs.

6.  Do the things he likes to do.

This list is really endless.  I can testify that it works.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself, God let me feel the heavy load that my husband carries.  If your husband is not expressing the love he used to and you are fearful, partner with the Holy Spirit and start working at your marriage.  It WORKS!!

ROCK STEADY MARRIAGE

  If we look at the statistics for a lasting marriage, our hopes seem dim.

There is about a 50% chance that our marriage will not make it.

God doesn’t go by statistics nor does he worry.

Our LORD is the “rock” and He represents steadfast faithfulness, protection and permanence.

Psa.144:1 “Praise the LORD my Rock,

who trains my hands for war

my fingers for battle.”

“The LORD my Rock” in Hebrew is YAHWEH TSURI.

The Hebrew word Tsuri is translated “rock”.

Was there ever a time in your life when you felt very vulnerable?

When you cried out for HELP did God hear your cries?

In 1Samuel, Hannah cried out to God for a child and when that child was born she gave God a great prayer of praise.

1Sam.2:2 “…there is no Rock like our God.”

When you pray, YAHWEH TSURI is the God who you can always count on.

CASE AND POINT:  I remember the day that my dad abandoned our family when I was thirteen.  I was fearful and could not sleep at night.  Fear of someone coming in and hurting our family overcame me.  Since there was no one to protect us, I slept in the closet hoping that an intruder would not find me.   It took a few months, but eventually my mother moved to a better neighborhood and I adjusted to the fact that my dad wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Psa.144:2 “He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold  and my deliverer…”

Confess to God if you have a habit of worrying which will hinder you from trusting God.

Is something shaking your CONFIDENCE that you are facing today?  Is it in your marriage?  Trouble in your home?

Keep your focus on Jesus no matter how devastating life may seem.

Are you looking at the circumstances around you and are becoming very disturbed?  This can rip into your marriage.

Build your life and your marriage on the word of God.

Remember, YAHWEH TSURI is the rock that spoke to the Israelites.

No matter what beats against your house or your marriage, remember that your foundation is securely built on the rock.

Keep in mind that blessings come not by wishing but by YIELDING to the Holy Spirit that is within you and he is there to guide you.

Decide to partner with God to build a better marriage by sticking to Gods commandments, staying in His word and spending more time in prayer.

When life begins to shake and crumble around you, the LORD who is the eternal Rock will be there to give you strength and rest.

Jesus was the spiritual rock that was with God’s people in the desert.

1Cor.10:4 “And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.”

You are a living stone with Christ as the cornerstone.

1Pet.2:4-8 “…I lay in Sion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded…a rock of offence..”

You have security in Christ!!!

NOTE:  Watch for tomorrow’s post that will strengthen your marriage.

GREAT PEACE IN MARRIAGE

An oxymoron is conjoining contradictory terms (as in “deafening silence”).

The title of this post seems like an oxymoron, GREAT PEACE IN MARRIAGE.

How do you have “great peace” in marriage?

We always turn to God’s word for our answers to marital or any other problems.

Psa.119:165 KJV “Great peace have they which love the law: and nothing shall offend them.”

A woman can take wounds from a friend and be ready to patch things up but when it comes from her spouse, she BLEEDS to death.

When a friend offends, it is iron sharpening iron, but when the husband does, the sparks will fly.

Why is it that a woman can act REASONABLE with strangers yet become easily offended with her husband?

This happens when we do not apply Gods word to our life.

Live by Gods word and you WON’T be so offended by your spouse.

The result of love for God and His word is “great peace.”

When you are obedient to God’s word, it will keep you from being offended from any person, especially your spouse.

Phil.4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

God demands that we do not offend our spouse but he also demands that we live free from not being offended by any one.

In Judges 6:24, Gideon built an altar to the LORD and called it “…the LORD of peace…” , YAHWEH SHALOM.

SHALOM is a Hebrew word which implies “peace”.

If there is any pattern in your life or marriage that keeps you from experiencing God’s peace, confess it to God.

God desires to free you from spiritual OPPRESSION.

The peace we long for in our marriage can only come from God.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that peace comes from having a PERFECT relationship.

Practicing the presence of God is the only way to have real peace.

What has caused you to be so BUSY that you have not practiced Gods presence or you are not seeking His face?

What is making you frustrated and anxious?

What is STEALING your peace?

Have you corroded your faith because of compromises you have made?

Cry out to God and he will DRAW you into His presence.

Confess any lack of faith in God to bring peace to your marriage.

To be at peace with God, your spouse and yourself , live in the presence of God through the POWER of the Holy Spirit.

Call on the name of Jesus!!

Fighting the “good fight” and loving it.

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will bring you more insight into your marriage.

RELATIONSHIP POWER  

God calls a marriage union his “holy institution” in Malachi.

Mal.2:11 “…For Judah has profaned the LORDS holy institution which He loves…”

The word “holiness” in the bible refers to something that is separated and sacred.

Holiness involves you separating yourself from sinful attitudes.

You can’t separate yourself from sinful people or a sinful world, but you have been liberated from sins grip.

Lev.19:1-2” The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: “Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.”” 

God was called QEDOSH YISRAEL, which in Hebrew means “Holy One of Israel”.

The people of Israel became “holy” because God chose them to be set apart.

In every relationship, the Israelites were to reflect their devotion and commitment to God by displaying and honoring His character.

God’s holiness involves absolute hostility towards sin and not just separation from sin.

Holiness involves Gods love, mercy, knowledge, goodness, justice and power.

The Holy Spirit enables you to imitate Christ’s holiness if you are a believer.

God’s presence is overpowering and when we are in His midst we will immediately see our sin.

God wants to reveal to us areas in our marriage that are falling short of His holiness.

There are times in our Christian walk when we feel our marriage dry up and our relationship with God dry up.

We start to drift as troubles mount and pleasures start to entice us.

Does it seem like your heart has grown empty and cold?

Do you wonder what happened to the “zing” that was once there?

Are you starting to slip back into old sinful habits and patterns?

Without holiness, no one will see God.

Heb.12:14 “Follow after peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.”

Be fully awake to God’s life within us with a passionate commitment.

Are you hanging out with anyone who is sexually immoral?

Are you listening to anyone who is greedy and selfish?

Are you staying clear from all idolaters and slanderers?

Don’t be influenced by a drunkard!

I will end with Leviticus 19:1-4, 9-18 for you to read what the Israelites were told what holiness is and what God expected of them:

The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.”

’Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths.  I am the LORD your God.

“’Do not turn to idols or make gods of cast metal for yourselves. I am the LORD your God…

“’When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest.  Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen.  Leave them for the poor and the alien.  I am the LORD your God.

“’Do not steal.

“’Do not lie.

“’Do not deceive one another.

“’Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not defraud your neighbor or rob him.

“’Do not hold back the wages of a hired man overnight.

“’Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.

“’Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not hate your brother in your heart.  Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.

“’Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.  I am the LORD.’”

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.