LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

PASSWORD TO MARITAL SUCCESS 

In today’s life, we often find that we do not have time to focus or listen.

We would like God to speak to us about our family life but God doesn’t leave VOICEMAILS or E-MAILS.

Our challenge is not to find time for God but to find the courage to stop our distractions for Him.

You create and empower DISTRACTIONS.

You choose to turn on your computer, carry your cell phone, watch TV, and schedule activities.

Jesus left us a pattern for prayer in our life in Matt.6:9 “After this manner pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.”

The word “manner” means “according to this model.”

The word “hallowed” means “set apart and holy.”

When we pray this, we are acknowledging that God is holy and honored.

Are you living a “holy” life that displays he is your father?

Are you dedicating yourself to live a marital life that reverences all that God is?

You are COMMANDED to honor God’s name.

C.S. Lewis said, “Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in.  Aim at earth and you get neither.”

“Hallowed be your name” in essence states “we declare our desire and intent to live differently.”

You need to not just say the words, but show it by godly character.

Are there areas in your life that are not “hallowed?”

Are there areas in your marital life that God cannot write his name in because they are not  “hallowed?”

If you do not pursue holiness in your marriage, it will not be successful.

Heb.12:14 “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

If you and your spouse hold different standards of right and wrong (ethics) then true forgiveness cannot be given or received.

Don’t wallow in pain and shame.

Is there an area in your sexual life that you are HIDING?

Is your social life filled with holiness?

When praying “Our Father” without a holy life, it shows that you assess his love on purely human terms.

As you pray “Hallowed be thy name…” God will walk into the darkest closets in your life.

Ex:  Have you ever walked into one of your child’s rooms and it stunk.  You couldn’t bear the smell.  God knows how to clean and straighten up things to make it fit for his dwelling.

If you have a child-like life, you are in a position for a blessing.

The password to MARITAL SUCCESS is praise and worship.

Psa.22:3 “God inhabits the praises of His people.”

Have the COURAGE to stop right now and add time to praise and worship him in your daily life.

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will have be an encouragement to make your marriage successful.

SEVEN MARITAL RESULTS from the LORD’S PRAYER

The unity and success of your marriage is determined by earnestly seeking God in prayer.

There are three different levels of praying the Lords prayer that depends where you are at that time.

THREE LEVELS OF THE LORD’S PRAYER.

 First, there is LIP SERVICE.  When you meet at church or when you are alone you usually pray out loud.

Second, there is the MIND LEVEL.  This is praying inwardly when you are busy doing something that frees your mind up to meditate on God.

Third, there is a HEART LEVEL.   This is the cry of passion that should be done privately because your heart will reflect on your face.

SEVEN RESULTS TO EXPECT

Praying the Lord’s prayer daily will change your life and redirect your future success in your marriage.

First, this action will magnify God daily because you are praying, “…Hallowed be Thy name…” You will grow as a Christian and learn what he expects from you as a wife.  Heb.11:6  “Anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

Second, you will live by better principles when you pray, “…Thy kingdom come…” You are asking God to bring his holiness, his agenda and his perfect plan into your life and marriage.  Your marriage will prosper by living according to God’s laws.

Third, God will give you guidance when you pray, “…Thy will be done…” You are asking God to guide you into His plan and purpose for your marriage.

Fourth, you will receive more answers from God.  When you pray according to God’s will, with all your heart, God answers.  Marriage will always be hit with issues and we always will need answers to life’s tough questions.

Fifth, you feel clean when you ask for forgiveness because you receive that confirmation that God has forgiven you.  This happens when you pray, “…Forgive us our debts…” You can be free of sin and feel it!

Sixth, it will help you to rise above your circumstances and be victorious over your marital problems.  You will experience this when you pray, “…Lead us not into temptation…”  When you pray against temptation, you are asking God to keep you away from situations that will destroy you.

Seventh, you will petition God to protect you when you pray, “…Deliver us from the evil one.”  At this point, God will place a protective shield around you and your spouse.

Get yourself organized!!!

Have a checklist of times that you will set to pray.

Have a prayer list of items you need to pray for your marriage.

Do it now!!!

Don’t give place to the enemy another minute!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post, which will help you to have a successful marriage.

NOTE:  Many of the comments and outline is from the book, Praying the Lord’s prayer by Elmer L. Towns

LOVE DOESN’T TAP OUT

Have you ever had your spouse “let you down” at some point along the way?

I’m sure, if the truth be told, you have let your spouse down also.

Human beings, and especially spouses, FAIL each other at one time or another.

1Corinthians 13:8 “Agape (love) never faileth…”

Love will last forever!!

Paul concludes POWERFULLY in 1Cor.13:8 that Gods love is forever!

Paul was trying to tell us that Gods love never disappoints or fails.

God’s love can always be counted on because it is always RELIABLE.

The way to get this love is to “die to self” but you cannot manufacture love.

Agape love never falls into ruin.

What is the difference between the world’s love and agape?

The SOURCE!!!

Agape has a source that is supernatural and that is a “supernatural God.”

Our constant challenge is to tap into that SOURCE.

Agape adapts to all circumstances and any country.

Does your love for your spouse fail more often than you would like?

That is because we are human beings and our love “taps out.”

As you grow in Christ the quality of “unfailing love” is manifested to our spouse.

As we obey the word of God, we daily progress in Christlikeness.

How do you feel when your spouse falls from the HIGH position they hold in your life?

How painful is it when you see a fellow warrior fall or stumble in battle?

Doesn’t this” let you down”?

God’s love is reliable and it is constant.

We are God’s CONDUIT for his unfailing love.

Remember, we cannot manifest this agape on our own strength.

Are you having a problem loving a spouse who is UNLOVABLE?

What with man is impossible, with Christ it is Him-possible!

Seek what is going to have enduring VALUE to your marriage.

Agape (Love) never “TAPS OUT!”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help you make your marriage a success.

SPOUSES, DON’T THROW IN THE TOWEL

Do you remain firm in your love for your spouse when faced with hard circumstances?

1Cor.13:7 “…Love …endures all things…”

The word “endures” in the Greek is  “hupomeno” which means to stay under or remain.

In secular Greek, “hupomeno” was a military term used to refer to an army who is holding a position at all costs.

This would be a person who is under a heavy load but refuses to surrender to defeat.

He will stay put and refuse to leave because he knows that he is where he is suppose to be.

Do you endure in times of loneliness or loss?

If you are filled with the love of God and strengthened by the Holy Spirit, you can endure pain and suffering.

The early Christians and the apostles were able to endure suffering and torture, due to agape (love)for God.

Agape never quits or throws in the towel.

Are you patient and loving with your spouse with no desire to reject or retaliate?

Do you bear up under circumstances that seem impossible?

Example:  The formica japonica ants can lift and carry five times their weight.   God created them to endure hardness.

We were not made to endure heaviness without the infilling of Gods Holy Spirit.

When your spouse is not successful at their attempts are you still cheerful and still standing?

We can never talk ourselves into agape (love)because we have no power within us.

Be honest with God and say, “I don’t love my spouse right now!!  I’m angry and have bad thoughts.”

You need to ask Jesus to fill you with His high-level love.

Here is an assignment for you to reach that higher-level.

• Write down the 11 qualities of love in 1Cor.13.

As you think of each one, how are you measuring up?

Which ones are you strong in?

Which ones are you weak in?

Which ones do you need in your life right now?

• Memorize 1Corinthians 13.

There is nothing more important in your life than letting God perfect His love in you.

Say, “I’m committed to be here in my marriage and to stay here and to work out our marriage.  I am not quitting no matter what the cost or time is to me.”

Don’t throw in the towel!

Jesus didn’t carry a towel with Him to Calvary.

Don’t carry one around in your marriage.

NOTE:  Tomorrow there will be a new post to help you succeed in your marriage.

BE A MAN, NOT A WEASEL

WHAT DOES IT TAKE for you to admit you’re wrong?  In the case of Joseph’s brothers, it took what appeared to be an imminent disaster.  Gen.42:21

During the first years of our marriage, I struggled to admit I was wrong.  Whenever I did so, I would often say, “If I was wrong when I did this, I’m sorry.”  An all-out confession was simply out of the question.

My attitude was childish, of course; but I couldn’t see it then.  It is amazing how many spouses behave like little kids who try to weasel out after getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar!

Over the years I’ve admitted to just about everyone in our family that I’ve been wrong; and of course, Barbara has heard me say it more than anyone.  The first step is the hardest–admit you’re wrong and ask forgiveness.  Both sexes can have trouble with this one, but in most marriages, the edge goes to the men.

Nevertheless, it’s liberating to admit you’re wrong, and it’s even more liberating when the other person forgives you and says, “That’s okay–I know I’ve made mistakes, too.  “Seeking and granting forgiveness in marriage leads to oneness; ignoring these things leads to isolation.

NOTE:  This article came from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post which has more insight to make your marriage successful.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1.   I am full of anxiety.  My husband is withdrawn, dishonest, and extremely selfish.  I feel like I am living in a prison.  My anxiety comes from condemnation from my unsaved husband.  I have not peace in my life.

Answer #1.  People with anxiety are not God-conscious; they are self-conscious.  You cannot be spiritually minded in this state; you can only be carnally minded.  Your answer is in 1Peter 5:6-7.  “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth  for you.

When you are living a life of anxiety and worry, it is living in a life of pride.  These verses are saying that if you live a life of “casting your cares”, it takes humility to do that.  You don’t trust God when you keep your problems and in essence, you are telling God that you can take care of it better and you are not going to give it to him.  That is prideful in Gods eyes.

God did not build us to handle all the problems here on earth.  You and I  are not made to handle tomorrows problems.  You will be empty of energy.  God says that when we worry, we are no better than a drunk.  Luke 21:34 “And take heed to yourselves, lest at anytime your hearts be overcharged…with drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day comes upon you unawares.”

Wow!!  He is saying that you will become overcharged or anxious if you are consumed with the care of this life.  Also, you will be categorized with drunks.  When you are in this state, you will not be able to hear the voice of God.

The answer to have a peaceful life is in Psalm 119:17 “Your word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against you.”

BACK TO THE FUTURE

The greatest spiritual gifts that the LORD left us are faith, hope and charity.

The Apostle Paul said in 1Corin.13:7, “…Love…hopes all things…”

Hope is not merely a “future state of happiness.”

In the secular world, they see “hope” as future expectations.

What is the difference between biblical hope and secular hope?

It’s the source!   Hope in a LIVING GOD!!

Marriages suffer from stress within and from outside.

Do you at times feel like a ship at sea in the middle of a storm tossed to and fro.

If we aren’t careful, that can take a toll on us and destroy our marriage.

Don’t become a prisoner of negative influences or it will tear your marriage apart.

When we gave our lives to Jesus, we became a captive to the hope we have in Jesus.

“Return to the stronghold, you prisoners of hope.  Even today I declare that I will restore double to you.”

Remember that we have His promise, as prisoners of hope, that He will restore double to us after each trial.

Our hope is not based on “wishful thinking!”

Biblical faith is founded on faith in the factual content of the gospel.

• Jesus’ death was due to our sins;
• Jesus was buried;
• On the third day Jesus was raised from the dead;
• Because we believe this, we are believed to be righteous.

Because of these facts, we have hope in our marriage.

Believers are energized by Holy Spirit who dwells in us and gives us that living hope.

All believers have hope but it is not “pie in the sky dream”.

This is a firm assurance that enables you to confidently face the problems around you.

Be confident that Jesus will keep all His promises.

Biblical hope is the certain expectation of God’s blessing, based on God’s faithful actions.

Jesus taught them not to be anxious about the future because that future is in the hands of your loving Father.

Hope right now can help you be satisfied with the joys of this life.

Hope provides the urge to live a pure life.

Hope helps us to be patient.

God wants to help your marriage grow stronger together.

Put your hope in Him.

NOTE:  Tomorrow there is a new post to help make your marriage successful.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

When things look the worst, do you believe that God will work out his master plan in your life?

The Apostle Paul told the Corinth church, “…Agape (love)… believes all things…”

The word “believes” is the Greek word elpidzo which is that same as the word “hope.”

The word “believe” implies that love sees the best in others and chooses to believe the best and not the worst.

Paul is saying that we need to believe the best in our spouse unless they do something that convinces us otherwise.

Agape doesn’t mean that you have to be a “dumbbell”, because love has discernment and wisdom.

Avoid undue suspicion and regard your spouse as being good and honest.

This doesn’t just mean some of the time; this is a “never give up” kind of belief for every situation.

Love means that you have to show confidence.

CASE AND POINT:  I had a relationship with my mom that I never told her a lie.  She knew I could be trusted.  Many times this was upsetting to me because if she thought my older brother was lying, she would ask me to tell her the truth.  I hated tattling on him because he was always getting in trouble.  I had five brothers who always had a story that didn’t quite match the truth.  In the 60’s most of the teenage guys were experimenting with LSD.  Every time my mom saw him with his shades on, she would tell him, “You better not be on that LSD.”  His answer to her would be, “Well I wasn’t, but now I will since you don’t trust me anyway.”  I was forever telling her not to tell him that.  I didn’t want him to get mad and go do drugs.

Do you give your spouse the benefit of the doubt?

This doesn’t mean that you have to be GULLIBLE.

You still see “the good, the bad, and the ugly” things that people do, you just have to display love and confidence.

Our flesh is always ready to believe the worst about our spouse.

The opposite is that agape believes the best in your spouse.

Do you feel that if you trust your spouse with some aspect of your marital life, they will end up burning you again?

TRUST GOD!!

Doesn’t it make you feel ugly when you find out that your spouse is upset with you for something you never did?

Trust is not GRILLING your spouse for details.

You are not an attorney cross-examining a defendant!!

You are his COMPANION; you are his PLAYMATE!!

Let go of the “the good, the bad, and the ugly” and have fun!!

NOTE:  Everyday there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

SAVE OUR LOVEBOAT

Do you make allowances for your spouse and endure whatever comes your way?

The Apostle Paul said, “Love…bears all things…”

In the Greek, the word “beareth” is stego which means “to cover”, just like a roof covers a house.

This word gives a picture of covering someone so they don’t get injured.

Love SUPPORTS what is placed on top of it and covers and protects what is placed under it.

Agape (love) patiently endures the faults of others especially from their spouse.

Are you operating in this kind of high-level love?

Love knows when and how to be SILENT.

In your marriage you have a choice of what kind of an attitude that you want to have.

It’s your CHOICE!!

Has there been a time in your marriage that you stood by your spouse’s side no matter what the cost?

The Holy Spirit wants to give you STRENGTH to endure anything that may come to destroy your marriage.

Love doesn’t look back but continues to the very end.

If you were on a tiny boat with your spouse and the boat sprung a leak, what would you do?

PANIC!!  And try to cover the hole so water couldn’t sink the boat.

A marriage in progress tries to “Save their Loveboat.”

This is exactly what spouses need to do for each other.

Agape covers negative things about others rather than putting a magnifying glass on them.

Do you exaggerate the negative areas in your spouse and don’t acknowledge the positive?

Do you plow down your spouse with sarcasm or put-downs?

Agape won’t lie about the weaknesses of others.

Don’t let bitterness control you instead cover your spouses faults and failures.

Go the extra mile to PROTECT your spouse’s reputation; don’t broadcast bad news.

You can’t sink his end of the “loveboat” without sinking yours.

Happy paddling!!!  J

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will have a new post to make your marriage a success.

OFF THE HOOK

 Have you ever received news about a person who had hurt and disappointed you, was now going through difficult times?

Was your attitude, “Well, that is just what they deserve.”

God’s agape (love) does not react like that!

The Apostle Paul exhorted the Corinth church for reacting in a sinful manner.

“…love…does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth in the truth.”

Unrighteousness is the condition of not being right according to God’s standard.   It also means to not being right with man, according to what man knows to be right which is determined by his conscience.

Never rejoice at your spouse’s failures, even if it is a result of their own foolishness.

Remember, we need to be a soft pillow for them to fall on.

Prov.24:17 “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles”

Do you disregard what is right in God’s eyes concerning your spouse?

Do you change the boundaries because this is your spouse and you can do what you want?

In Mal.2:14-15, husbands are being exhorted for dealing treacherously with their wives.

Wives, you are not “off the hook.”

I know some wives who are extremely cruel to their spouses.

Many wives feel their husbands deserve punishment because of disrespect that is dished out to them by him.

In God’s kingdom, that is SIN!!

Agape does not rejoice at another’s downfall.

That is PRIDE and God hates PRIDE!!

CASE AND POINT:  One of my children was always picking on their younger sibling.  Every time that would happen, I was getting madder and madder.  The punishment of my choice became more severe each time.  One evening I had a dream.  In this dream a duck turned and bit the face of this tiny cute “chickie.”  I was very hurt for the tiny chick.  As we walked out the door, I slammed the door on the duck.  I could hear the duck quacking loudly.  I opened the door and let the duck loose.  When I woke up I was very upset at what I had done in the dream.   I realized what God was showing me.  The punishment has to fit the crime.  I was hurting someone smaller than me just like my older child was hurting the smaller child.  I felt TERRIBLE!!

We need to rejoice in what is truth and right in God’s sight; not draw our own conclusions as to what our spouse deserves.

Isa.5:20 “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Thess.2:11-12 “…they should believe a lie…be damned who believe not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.”

NEVER say, “Well, they finally got what they deserve!!”

Because you might get what you deserve!!!

NOTE:  Tomorrow will have a new post to help you succeed in your marriage.