LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

A COMPARABLE HELPER

WHILE ALL OF US ARE CALLED to help others–“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal.6:2)–the Bible places a special emphasis on the responsibility for wives.  It also tells us that God specially designed women to be the kinds of helpers that make them the ideal match for men as the two become one in marriage.

The very first book of God’s Word tells us that part of God’s plan of creation–including the creation of marriage–contained this declaration, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen.2:18).

It is interesting to note that the Hebrew word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible only in reference to God as He helps us.  The fact that God applies this same word to a wife signifies that women have been given tremendous power for good in the lives of their husbands.

This remarkable verse tells us that God has designed wives to be very much like their husbands–comparable–but also different in ways that complement or help their husbands become all that God intends them to be.

NOTE:  Don’t forget tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post!

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1.  How do you prevent the fire from going out of marriage?

Answer #1. Here are some exhortations that should help you keep the fire burning.

1.  Make your marriage bed your priority.

Exhaustion is the great zapper of passion.  Make your sexual relationship a priority in your married life.

2.  Talk about what pleases one another.

Describe what would truly please you, and encourage your spouse to do the same.

3.  Fan the flames of romance.

Find out what setting sparks or even ignites your love for your mate.

4.  Have fun with one another, but not at each others expense.

Grins, giggles, and laughter ought to occasionally drift out of our bedrooms.

5.  Add the element of surprise to your marriage bed.

If the sexual area of your marriage has been a struggle, then ask permission before cooking up something you think is wonderful and your spouse might not appreciate (Rom.15:1-7).

6.  Be patient with your mate.

Married love demands that we continually grown and learn about one another (see 1Thess.3:14-15).

7.  Beware of bitterness.

Bitterness quenches the fire of romance.  Keep short accounts and ask forgiveness when you fail or if you have become bitter (Eph.4:26,27).

NOTE:  The answer above was taken from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

WHY SUFFER IN MARRIAGE

Suffering is the greatest challenge to the Christian faith.

I have wives come up to me concerning their marriage.  Many of them feel that their suffering is unavoidable and unfair.

Here is a list of three different types of suffering:

First, there is global suffering (earthquakes, famine, etc.).

Second, there is community suffering (plane crashes, ship sinking, etc.).

Third, suffering as an individual which does affect those around us (death, poverty).

Suffering is a problem for Judeo-Christian tradition because we believe that God is good and all-powerful.

Gods original plan was that there would be no suffering but it enter the world when Adam and Eve sinned.

Why did God allow sin to enter the world?

God wanted us to have free will to love.

Without you being able to choose, then love is forced without real choice.

You had a choice as to who you would marry.

You don’t have a choice on your parents or siblings, nor people in your school or workplace.

You don’t even get a choice on the sex of your children or their personalities.

So often the repercussions we suffer are a result of our own sin.

There are physical laws of nature; if you put your hand in fire, you get burned.

There are moral laws; if you take drugs, you suffer the consequences.

Are you selfish, greedy, lustful, arrogant or bad tempered?

If you are, this will lead to a broken marriage relationship and unhappiness.

On a global scale, the biblical flood is an example of God judging sin in this life.

Sodom and Gomorrah is an example of a community disaster.

In John 9:1-3, Jesus expresses how suffering is not automatically linked to a sin.

In Luke 13:1-5, Jesus points out that a natural disaster is also not always a form of punishment from God.

God works through suffering

1.  Suffering is used by God to draw us to Christ.

It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

If you are rebellious in your marriage, God could use a megaphone as an instrument of pain to draw you to Him.

2.  God uses suffering to bring us to Christian maturity.

Jesus learned obedience from what he suffered (Heb.12:10).

God uses suffering to build our character.

God also uses suffering to make our lives more fruitful.

Great triumphs in your marriage can only come after great trials.

3.  God often uses suffering to bring his good purposes. (Rom.8:28)

Joseph suffered rejection, imprisonment, trials, and temptations.

The blessings of God in your marriage will far outweigh the suffering (Rom.8:18; 2Cor.4:17).

4.  God is a God who suffers along side of us.

He became one of us; he suffered in all the ways in which we suffer (2Cor.5:19).

When we suffer, He suffers.

How do we respond to suffering?

Questions you need to ask yourself are:

1.  “Is this suffering a result of my own sin?”

Ask God to reveal any specific sin then repent and ask for God’s forgiveness and cleansing.

2.  “What are you saying to me through this?”

There may be some particular lesson God is trying to teach you about your marriage.

3.  “What do you want me to do?”

4.   We need to hold on to our hope.

Remember that battles do not last forever and there is usually a blessing around the corner.

Life is full of battles and blessings running side by side.

Keep your eyes fixed on him  (Heb.12:2).

Jesus fought against suffering wherever he came across it.

• Fed the hungry
• Healed the sick
• Raised the dead

We are called to follow in Jesus’ steps.

The devil always tries to make you suffer in your marriage.

You need to kick back with an iron boot!

There are tremendous blessings being poured out into your life right now.

Does God need to get out His megaphone or are you listening?

Whatever you are going through, God is going through it with you.

You have a partner!!

NOTE:  Most of the information was taken from a booklet called “Why does God allow suffering” by Nicky Gumbel.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

HUSBANDS vs. PMS Emotions

Do you find yourself getting upset and emotional about something that is not a big deal? Then you find out that it was right before your monthly menstruation.

Some women use PMS as an excuse to act ugly.

PMS is premenstrual Syndrome, a medical disorder characterized by a variety of physical and emotional symptoms that occur in women before menstruation.

Comments are from Bible Answer Stand written by Craig Bluemel.

A woman’s emotions may vary according to lower levels of estrogen and progesterone of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin.

This is the cause for anger and other emotions like depression, anxiety, or mood swings.

Physically at that time there is fluid retention, bloating, cramps, sore breasts, headaches, swollen feet and hands.

So what is the poor husbands to do?

Did God leave any instructions for the husbands.

Yes!!

Husbands are to treat their wives weakness or even sinful behavior as Jesus treats him when he is weak and sins.

1Pet.3:7-18 are instructions on what the treatment of the wife should be and his Christ-like response during times of conflict.

1Pet.3:7 (Amplified Bible) “In the same way you married men should live considerately with your wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation,  honoring the woman as physically the weaker, but realizing that you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut-off, otherwise you cannot pray effectively.”

If the husband’s prayers are heard, it is based solely on how he treats his wife, including his righteous response to her emotional negativity.

The word “weaker” in the Greek means more BEAUTIFUL, DELICATE and FRAIL.

The word “vessel” in the Greek means EQUIPMENT.  In reference to the wife, it describes her as contributing to the usefulness of the husband.

Unfaithfulness of husband and wife causes prayers to be hindered.

vs. 3:8 ”Finally, all of you (husbands) should be of one and the same mind (with your wife), united in spirit, sympathizing with another, loving each other as brethren of one household, compassionate and courteous, tenderhearted and humble.”

vs. 3:9 “(Husbands should) never return evil for evil or insult for insult, scolding, tongue-lashing, treating, but on the contrary blessing, praying for their (wife’s) welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them.  For know that to this you (husbands) have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing from God—that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection (to your wife).”

vs. 3:10 “For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days; good, whether apparent or not, keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile, treachery, deceit.”

vs. 3:11 “Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right.  Let him search for peace, harmony; undisturbedness from (his eagerly.  Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen (wife as fellow heir), and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!”

vs. 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, those who are upright and in right standing with God, and His ears are attentive to their prayer.  But the face of the Lord is against those who practice evil, to oppose them, to frustrate, and defeat them.”

God will look on the wicked to punish them for their sins.

vs. 3:13 “Now who (which wife) is there to hurt you (husbands) if you are zealous followers of that which is good?”

A “follower” is an imitator.

vs. 3:14 “But even in case you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed, happy, to be envied.  Do not dread or be afraid of their (wife’s) threats, nor be disturbed by their opposition.”

If you have the right attitude, all suffering for doing right will work to your good.

vs. 3:15 “But in your hearts set Christ apart as holy and acknowledge Him as Lord.  Always be ready to give a (her) logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully.”

vs. 3:16 “And see to it that your conscience is entirely clear and unimpaired, so that, when you are falsely accused as evildoers (by her emotional tirade), those who threaten you abusively and revile your right behavior in Christ may come to be ashamed of slandering your good lives.”

If you maintain good behavior, you will have a good conscience.

vs.  3:17 “For it is better to suffer unjustly for doing right, if that should be God’s will, than to suffer justly for doing wrong.”

vs. 3:18 “For Christ himself died for sins once for all, the Righteous for the unrighteous, the Just for the unjust, the Innocent for the guilty, that He might bring us to God. (AMP)

It may seem a little unfair at the time, but the rewards of a great marriage are powerful for the kingdom of God.

PMS lasts for a few days, but the rewards of a good marriage  will last for eternity.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

PMS – PARDON MY SOBBING

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman’s menstrual cycle.

According to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine on January 22, 1998.  Cyclical fluctuations in blood levels  of the female sex hormones estrogen and progesterone play an important role in the syndrome’s onset.  So what may seem to some husbands as the “monster inside” during PMS may indicate the wife falls into the category of severe PMS symptoms experienced by about 2.5% of the female population.

The study provides evidence that cyclical  variations in estrogen and progesterone may lower levels of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin, in some of the women.

Symptoms of PMS usually last for about a week.  The most common symptom is low energy and fatigue. Other symptons are bloating, cramps, craving for sweet or salty foods, sore breasts, swollen feet or hands, headaches, acne and gastrointestinal problems.

Emotional symptoms of PMS are depression, irritability, anxiety, or mood swings.

Do you loose your playful teasing and joking?

Do you loose your carefree joy and instead feel like you are being CRITICIZED?

As hormonal change excels, your self-esteem is affected.

Psa.42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?  And why art thou disquieted in me?   Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”

David talked to himself during his depression.

Romans 12:2 “…be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

You must SET new goals.

Trust in the promises of God.

PMS JOKE:  Definitive Signs of PMS are:

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving?  Call 1 800 ***-****.”
6. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

MENOPAUSAL  WIVES

Menopause also know as “change of life” for women is a natural biological event in which the menses stops when the function of the ovaries begins to cease.

‘Change of life’ comes from a Greek word the root word which means “a critical time.”

We will be using some comments from the book, Woman, a formula for victorious living by Lu Ann Bransby.

80 years is the life expectancy for woman today.

Complex hormonal shifts change a girl into a woman at puberty, a woman into a mother during pregnancy, and terminate a woman’s reproductive life at menopause.

Eccl.3:1 “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

 The early signs of menopause mood changes, abnormal vaginal bleeding, and hot flashes.

MENOPAUSE JOKE ON MOODS –

Safety tip: Your safer teasing a grizzly bear than telling a woman in menopause she’s moody.

Joint and muscle aches, urinary problems, and vaginal dryness are some of the late symptoms.

Menopause is God’s creative design for a woman’s body to cease the possibilities of conception.

In a recent BBC news article, “Women are Happier after Menopause”.  It quoted a Jubilee Report where 76% of post-menopausal women said their health was better, 75% said they had more fun, and 93% said they had more independence, and more choice in everything from work to leisure pursuits.

This is a time when women should take care of themselves more than ever before: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

God ordained changes to be a part of our normal growth.

Psa.56:3 “What time am I afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Remember that you were once an infant, then a pre-schooler, then an adolescent, teenager, adult, wife, mother and you now maybe a wife.

Change is growth and God has always been there for you.

Research the best kinds of medical or natural interventions.

CASE AND POINT:  When I went through menopause I started using natural progesterone.  It was like a miracle, taking away all the symptoms.  You can have a doctor test you and find out if you are low on estrogen or progesterone.  I would suggest that you use a natural form of it since the ones with chemicals have side affects.

Don’t forget to exercise and keep a healthy diet which is beneficial.

Challenge your thinking and renew your mind.

Be a blessing to your spouse and family, by taking care of yourself physically.

The Holy Spirit is there to guide you!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

BOOMERANG REWARD

A boomerang is a curved piece of wood; when thrown, it will return to the initial position from where it came.

Lets view how this boomerang effect impacted the Proverbs 31 woman as we continue on as a “profile peeker.”

“Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”  Prov.31:31

This is stating that we should give her the reward she has earned and let her enjoy the fruit she has planted.

This is a woman that goes the EXTRA mile and now she is going to be rewarded.

Prov.12:14 “A man shall be satisfied with good by the fruit of (his) mouth: and the recompence of a man’s hands shall be rendered unto him.”

THE MESSAGE:  “Well-spoken words bring satisfaction; well-done work has its own reward.”

What you give out, you will get back.

Heb.11:6  “…he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

God is a very generous rewarder.

Eph.6:8 “Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth,, the same shall he receive of the Lord…”

God is watching all the good things that we do in His name and he is now indebted to us to reward us.

He REWARDS us because it is in His word, not because we deserve it.

In Proverbs 2:5-11, there is a list of rewards for obedience.

1.)    Understanding the fear of God.  (v.5)

2.)    Finding the knowledge of God.  (v.5)

3.)    Given knowledge and understanding of God.  (v.6)

4.)    Given sound wisdom of God. (v.6-7)

5.)     Receive true understanding in righteousness, judgment, equity, and every good path.  (v.9)

6.)    Preserved by discretion. (v.11)

7.)    Understand that keeps. (v.11)

“IN THE GATES” refers to a public meeting place where business was conducted, like a city hall.

This shows that this woman was recognized publicly for all the good deeds she did for people.

God wants you known in your community; “…a city set on a hill…” for Gods honor and glory.

It could be assisting in your neighborhood, church, school, work, etc.

God wants us to do our work with zeal. 

Titus 2:14 “…a peculiar people, zealous of good works.”

Do you do “good works?”

Okay, but do you do good works with zeal?

Zeal is a feeling of strong eagerness.

Ask God to give you His heart!

Ask God to give you opportunities to do “random acts of kindness.”

Ask God to put you in a ministry that you are gifted for so that you may excel in it.

The Holy Spirit wants to partner with you to make you the spouse and “good worker” you are suppose to be.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

COMMANDED TO MULTIPY

GOD TOLD ADAM AND EVE to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen.1:28).  Later, the psalmist wrote, “Behold , children are a heritage from the Lords, the fruit of the womb is a reward…Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psa.127:3,5).

We believe it is very clear in Scripture that God wants–even commands– married couples to have children.  Of course, there are extenuating circumstances that can cause couples to be childless, but the scriptural norm is for us to “be fruitful and multiply.”

Why?

We don’t believe we’re commanded to have children just to have children.  We believe God wants us to have children so that we can multiply a godly heritage, so that there will be new believers (and we are to make sure we do everything we can to encourage our children to fear and love God) to take the message of salvation to this world’s next generation.

Children are a blessing to those who have made a lifetime commitment to marriage.  But they are also messengers to a world that needs to hear God’s message of love and salvation.

NOTE:  This was taken from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

Saturday – Question & Answer  5/28/11

Question #1.  I have been separated for more than ten years.  Can I divorce him and ask God for a new husband?

Answer #1.  Separation means that you are still married to your husband.

In Malachi 2:16, God says that He hates divorce.   Considering this important principle let’s go over verses that discuss marriage.

1Cor.7:39 LB  “The wife is part of her husband as long as he lives; if her husband dies, then she may marry again, but only if she marries a Christian.”

Statistics show that within a year after a divorce, 75% of the women usually feel they made a big mistake.

Also the statistics show that 10 years after divorce, the  percentage is even higher that the couple wishes they had not divorced.

1Cor.7:10-13  “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart (separate) from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife (divorce).  If any brother (christian) hath a wife that believeth not (is unsaved), and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away (divorce her).  And a woman which hath a husband that believeth not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.”

God desires our marriage to work.

In Malachi 2, it says that your marriage is his “holy institute” and he loves it!

1Cor.7:15 “But if the unbelieving depart (separates), let him (or her) depart.  A bother or sister (Christian) is not under bondage in such cases: but (nevertheless) God hath called us to peace“.

If an troubling unbelieving spouse leaves, we can interpret it as God giving you the opportunity to have peace.

In Matt.19:8, Jesus says that Moses addressed divorce because of the “hardness of our hearts.”

In other words, this can be interpreted as though he allows divorce because your heart is hard towards your spouse.

Trust God to continue to give you peace and strength to do His will in your life.

Be sensitive and obedient to God’s Holy Spirit.

You can lead a fulfilling and purposeful life in Christ and still glorify God separated till he returns.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

RUBY RED LIPS

There is a program on TV called “Voice.”  At the beginning of the series, the celebrities have to pick a team of singers.  The catch is that they do not get to see the singers that are auditioning to be on a team.  They only get to hear their voices so their choice of pick is purely on their talent of singing.  After they either pick or reject them, then they get to see what they look like.

It sounds like a great idea to go through life being judged by how we use our abilities and talents rather than how we look.

Everyone is judged  by their looks, especially women.

Lets see how the Proverbs 31 woman dealt with “looks”.

Prov.31:30  “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

The word “favor” in Hebrew is chen.  This means GRACEFUL BEAUTY.

In other words, this would refer to a woman that has charm which is deceptive and beauty that is fleeting.

Will “ruby red lips” work?

There are two things said about external beauty: 1.) it is deceitful,  2.) it is vain.

Beauty many times DISAPPOINTS because the outer cover hides the inner deformities.

TV celebrities are often very DAMAGED people with addictions, troubled marriages, and an array of personal problems.

Vanity implies something that vanishes, and your physical body was not made to live forever.

Do you try to use your sexuality or charm and flirting to make you successful?

Don’t use cheap tricks to get ahead rather than the talents God has given you.

Real beauty is impossible to have unless you have the fear of the LORD in your life.

What causes us to draw near to God is the right kind of fear.

The right kind of fear is respect because he is our caring Heavenly Father who is there for us in the time of need.

Prov.1:7 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

True piety alone commands permanent respect and affection.

Are you concerned about what God thinks?  Or are you more concerned about what other people think?

Do you sacrifice godliness for the latest sexy fashions?

A woman’s beauty cannot withstand the trials of life as they take their toll.

CASE AND POINT:  There was a woman that came to our church about 20 years ago.  She was absolutely beautiful.  She resembled a beautiful  actress in the 50’s named Loretta Young.  She left the church, got a divorce, and started using drugs.  About 10 years later she came back to church for a while.  I was shocked when I saw her.  Her teeth had rotted out, her skin was rashed and discolored.  She could barely walk because the drugs had made holes in her bones.  She was totally unkept.  Her hair was not combed and her dress was very shabby.  This did not look at all like the same woman.  I wanted to cry when I saw her.  She had destroyed her life along with her beautiful looks.

The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 does not depend on beauty and charm to be successful in life.

Choose to age gracefully by realizing that your relationship with the LORD is the most important thing in your life.

With the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, you will truly become more beautiful as each day passes.

Beauty in the HEART puts beauty in the FACE!!!

NO MORE RUBY RED LIPS!!

Put beauty back in your heart right now.

The fear of the LORD opens that door.

Keep fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.   Daily there is a new post.