A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

NOTE; This was taken from a book named “Happily Ever After” by Ken Davis.

* is always beautiful and cheerful.

* could have married a movie star but wants only you.

* has hair that never needs curlers or a beauty shop.

* has beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm, because she doesn’t wear makeup. Her glow is natural.

* is never sick; she’s just allergic to jewelry and Italian leather shoes.

* insists that moving the furniture by herself is good for her figure.

* is an expert at cooking, cleaning house, and fixing the car or computer.

* is an expert at painting the house. She even hangs wallpaper by herself.

* has favorite hobbies of moving the lawn and shoveling snow.

* hates credit cards and her favorite expression is “What can I do for you, dear?”

* thinks you have Einstein’s brain and look like Mr. America.

* says she loves you because you’re so sexy.

BUT INSTEAD HE GETS A WOMAN WHO:

* speaks 140 words a minute with wind gusts up to 180.

* was once a model…for a totem pole.

* is known as a light eater: as soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

* treats you like a god…offering three burnt offerings a day. Where there is smoke, there she is, cooking.

* has hair that, despite what she does, looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

* uses a broom only to fly somewhere.

* can find you if you get lost–just open your wallet.

* fights with the neighbors just to keep in practice until you get home.

* lets you know you have only two faults: everything you say and everything you do.

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post. Daily a new post is on.