SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER 9/10/11
Question #1. My husband works out of town many months out of the year. He complains about being on the road away from everything he loves but continues to spend the money he is making on anything he wants. I have to account for every penny but he takes hundreds of dollars every week which he never tells me where it goes. He has taken me off all the bank accounts and only gives me enough money to pay the bills. He has password on his phone and only calls me every other day when he is gone for a few minutes. He says he loves me. We have been married almost 20 years with two children. I believe he is selfish and controlling. Is it time for us both to move on?
Answer #2. There are many questions that I would like to ask you before I answer this. Since we are not able to communicate, I will do my best to answer this question for you. I am going to answer this as if it were happening to me.
First, you need to do everything possible to keep your marriage in tack. Do not listen to voices tell you to do things that are not biblical. In Malachi 2, your marriage is called a “Holy Institute.” Anything that is “holy”, the devil will always try to destroy. He might be selfish and controlling, but that is still no reason to set up housekeeping elsewhere. This is your family and you need to fight for it!
Second, you need to do whatever it takes to allow your daughters to grow up with their father in their home. Also in Malachi 2, it says that the purpose of marriage is for “godly offspring.” Even if you feel like he is never there or that he is a father who doesn’t care about them. He is a covering and a security to them. They love him and need him in their life. Your husband is a provider and even if you think the scale of monetary output is not to your advantage, he is still providing. If you talked to any wife who has been abandon with children, you will find that they would take their husbands back under any conditions. It’s a hard cruel world out there! My dad left our family when I was thirteen years old. It was a nightmare that never ended. Even though my mother was a very loving soul who never remarried or tracked strange men through our home, or talked trash about my dad, it was still unbearable.
Lastly, what do you do? Stay miserable for the rest of your life? No! No! No! The bible talks about what to do if you are a slave with an evil task master. He says to go back and serve that master with your very best. Pray for him everyday. When you talk to him, make it an extremely enjoyable conversation. You want him to be anxious when he hangs up to talk to you again. Talk about happy things! How cute the girls are, something silly they did, something of interest that came out in the news. Tell him you found a hilarious joke and read it to him. DO NOT, DO NOT talk about money or you. Very few husbands care what wives think or feel. The reason why is because we are so emotional. To a man, we sound SELFISH and CONTROLLING.
Tell him you love him. You will shock him! Pray for him! Prayer works! Read 1 Corinthians 13 everyday and apply it to your marriage.
One of the best marriage books is, “Love and Respect” by Eggerich. Get it, mark it, and live it. Make your marriage, your hobby.
GOD WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT! HE DREAMT ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE, BEFORE HE CREATED IT. I’m praying for you. You go girl! Fight the good fight!
NOTE: Daily there is a new post with information that will make your marriage a success.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE 
I am in a similar situation as the woman with the previous questions but unlike her my kids are all grown up and have been married for 30 years. My husband has also cut me off of our bank accounts and spends excessively on his old cars he is restoring. I used to complain and made myself miserable but since I started to read your blog and a book called a praying wife my attitude has changed and the Lord showed me that I needed to surrender my heart in whole not just a part but all of my life and that I needed to release my husband to Him. I stared to pray for my husband in a different way and I have seen a change in his attitude towards me and I give God the glory because I know it is He who is at work in my husband and it will be He who will save him. I used to use my situation as an excuse why I could not treat my husband differently but God is showing me that I have to obey His word regardless of what I am going through in my marriage. Surrendering ourlives and heart to God is the most important thing and He will do the rest if we allow Him to. Sister divorce is not the answer, I know women that have divorce their husbans and they are in worst situations than what they were when they were married and it makes me thank the Lord for giving me the strength to endure this temporary trial.
Hi Martha! What a great comment and powerful testimony! Thanks for sharing it with all of us. I am sure there are so many women that will be encouraged by it. You are truly a woman of honor. Great is your reward in heaven. Love you.