LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

SATURDAY –  QUESTION & ANSWER  5/21/11

Question #1.  What do I do when my husband just does not care about anything in church or in our home?

Answer #1.  It sounds like your husband is apathetic.  That is when a person has an absence of emotions or enthusiasm.  In other words, he isn’t excited about anything.

There can be a number of reasons for that.  I reand.member counseling a woman who didn’t agree with the discipline her husband was giving the children.  She never got along with him and one day God revealed to me that he had given up.  He had no say in the home anymore.  She did what she wanted and would fight to the finish to do things her way.  In the end, he let her do everything her way and he became the bitter, angry husband.

Titus 2:4-5 are eight priorities that you should be fulfilling.

Are you sober?  Do you use common sense?

Do you love your husband?

Do you love your children?

Are you discreet?   Courteous?  Honest?  Gracious?

Are you chaste?  Modest?

Are you a keeper at home?  Not social-networking or busybodying?

Are you good?

Are you obedient to your husband?

If you fall short in any of these areas, it can be very frustrating for your husband.

  Remember that he married you to have fun!! 

Not for you to come home from church and preach to him.

You are his helpmeet, his girlfriend, his cheerleader and his friendly friend.

Ask God to help you in this area.

Your marriage is His “Holy Institute”.

HAPPY FACE!

Everyone loves to be around the “life of the party” or the one with a good hearty laugh.

I remember seeing an interview with the famous actor “Billy Crystal”.  The interviewer asked him about his family and his childhood.  He has several brothers and when Crystal was asked what his biological brothers thought of his talent as a comedian he said, “They are far more funny than I am.”  At that point the interviewer told him that it must be a riot at Christmas when they are all together.  Crystal laughed and said it was where he gets his material and his inspiration from.

Once again lets be a “profile peeker” and dissect the Proverbs 31 woman to see what she is made of.

Prov.31:25 “Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”

The first word that is used here is “strength”, which in Hebrew means a force, security, majesty, praise, boldness, might and power.

She was strong mentally, physically and emotionally.

Her husband knew that she was up to the task of being a GOOD wife and to be the mother of his children.

Are you strong in those areas, or do you show your frustration to your husband and his children.

Do you START complaining, criticizing, yelling, crying and retaliating?

Strength is a clothing that gives you an opportunity to show diligent labor and strenuous efforts to be the best mother and wife.

In our society today, we are finding that our YOUNG ADULTS do not want to get married.  When asked why, their response is that they don’t want a marriage like their parents had.

Gods precious Holy Spirit is there to help you with those emotions.

The Holy Spirit is a gentlemen, and you have to LISTEN for his tugging in your heart to not express something that you will be embarrassed about later.

Thank God that He loves us so much, He doesn’t want us to destroy our marriage or our children.

The next word “honor” in Hebrew means magnificence that is an ornament or splendor.  It is beauty, excellency, glorious, and goodly.

This virtuous woman does not allow folly or sin to ruin her GODLY reputation.

Do you have a holy life in conduct, tongue and heart?

The last part of this verse is excellent: “…she shall rejoice in time to come.”

The word “rejoice” in Hebrew means to laugh, play, and make merry.

In other bible versions, they interpret the word “rejoice” as LAUGH.

This virtuous woman must have been very easy to be around because she was playful.

Life is not all about doing, but BEING.  That is, being joyful!

Are you sometimes a “stick in the mud”?

Are you many times not fun to be around?

Maybe you keep a clean house, love your husband, educate your children, but you are just a big KILLJOY!

You don’t know how to have fun!

This virtuous woman has taken care of others so she has a CLEAN conscience and the praises from those she has served.

Your future happiness depends on diligence and virtue today.

Don’t listen to the lies of the devil.

Put on a big “happy face” and  have fun today!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post

Someone with a  HAPPY FACE electrifies a whole room.

Your spiritual prescription for today is, put on a smile and get in there and have fun with your hubby and kids.

Fight that good fight with a smile!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

BOYS CLUB INITIATION

We have all heard about the initiations that go on when you join any type of boys club.  Many times on TV they will sneak cameras in to show some of the torture or hazing that goes on.

As we continue on as a “profile peeker” and watch what the Proverbs 31 woman went through, we find a very industrious, hardworking woman.

Prov.31:24  “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

This woman manufactures articles and runs a business.

Her efforts and industry, ADD to the family income.

It takes time to set up a business because you have to develop a strong client base.

She had to keep her INTEGRITY while trying to enter into an industry that was probably led mainly by male manufacturers.

Probably most women would not have attempted it because of the old saying that a woman has to be twice as good as a man to receive half as much credit.

Not this Proverbs 31 woman.  She knew that not all men had the “boys club” mentality and she guarded her heart against any bitterness.

She trusted God by praying He would show her how to be effective as she sharpened her skills and persevered.

By faith, she rested in the knowledge that she had done ALL that God has shown her to do.

If you take great pains to prosper now that you are capable, you will have the pleasure and joy of the increase later on in life.

Are you doing everything you can NOW for your spouse and family?

Are you trying to use your talents and abilities now to further the kingdom of God?

Prov.30:25 “The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer.”

The virtuous woman, just like the ant, builds up her nest in the summer to prepare ahead.

Prov.6:6 “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.”

What are the ways of the ant that we are to consider?

1.)  In vs.6, they are intelligent and wise.

2.)  In vs.7, they work without being forced to by a guide, overseer or ruler.

3.)  In vs.8, they collect food in the proper season.

Even though there are times that blessings come unexpectedly, there is no substitute for hard work.

This virtuous woman was faithful in the “little.”

Luke 19:17 “…because thou hast been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities.

Jesus had left three men with money to invest.  Only one of the three invested wisely and earned a 100% return on the money.

Jesus commended the one that had received the best return.

Are you committed to working hard for Jesus?

Hard work is how we PROVE that we are ready to be used by God.

Give it your all!   You go girl!!!

You’re not letting the devil stop you are you????

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

MEGA-GIANT BUILDER

On 9/16/08, Michael Reilly wrote a piece for Discovery News.  In the South Pacific Ocean, on the island of Tongatapu, there are seven giant boulders made of coral.  Matthew Hornback of the University of Texas, Austin, and a team of researchers discovered the boulders last year and are baffled by how they got there. What baffles him is that Tongatapu is as flat as a pancake and here are seven boulders as big as a bus sitting hundreds of meters inland, and 66 feet above sea level.  These boulders are bigger than deposits made by Krakatau’s tsunami which inundated the island of Java in 1883.  That tsunami was up to 130 feet high but those boulders weighed 600 metric tons.  By comparison, these boulders in Tongatapu are 1,600 metric tons.  Jose Borrerros of ASR Research says, that the giant-ness of the wave proposed here hasn’t been seen in human time.  Science cannot be sure what caused 7 mega-giant boulders to end up on that island, hundreds of feet inland and 66 feet above sea level.

For sure God knows exactly how they got there.

As I read this and compared it to what we have been studying about the Proverbs 31 woman, it was a PARALLEL to her Godly works.

Once again lets be a “profile peeker” and see what we can find out about this virtuous woman.

Prov.31:23 “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”

For a man to sit at the gate was a high honor; it represented wisdom and success.

You could not be a FOOL and sit at the gates.

We build our husbands up with our work when we believe this passage and begin to act on it in faith.

This husbands reputation and status in verse 23, was due to the fact that his wife knew her role was to be productive and faithful, which she did WELL.

Prov.12:4 “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”

What do you think other men will think of this man who is married to a woman who is rottenness in his bones?

Do you wear a CROWN or do you make your husband ashamed with his friends and family?

How about around your friends and family; do you shame him?

Men NEED personal freedom and peace of mind.

Your talents, treasures, tongue, and wise use of time glorifies him.

When you glorify your husband, you glorify GOD.

Woman who resent Godly characteristics are slothful, rebellious and prideful.

Submission is the Godly doing GOD through self-discipline and self-sacrifice for the glory of another.

Proverbs also talks about woman that have their husbands sexually starved and frustrated which leads to adultery because of the wife’s selfishness.

Prov.5:19-20 “Let her be as the loving doe and a pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love…”

A great wife can make a below average man look great or reduce him to nothing.

God desires wives to partner with him in building a GODLY mega-giant.

If you have the character traits of the virtuous woman, you can build up a man.

Is your husband HONORED for marrying you?

Do you fear the Lord?  The fear of the Lord is what gives you the incentive to be a perfect wife.

Your love for God and desire to NOT QUENCH the Holy Spirit is what will cause you to strive to be the woman God wants you to be.

Remember that it is said, “Behind every great man, there is a great woman.”

Are your failures exposed?

Do you GUARD your spouse’s Christian walk?

Do you COMFORT your spouse’s heart?

Do you build your spouse’s mind?

What can you do to make your husband GREATER in the future?

Start today; start right now!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

PARENTS RETREAT

Have you ever looked through a magazine and see a picture of a beautiful master bedroom.  This room is gorgeously decorated with an opening off to the side.  In that side section, you usually will find that is comfortably decorated with a “love seat” and table.  This room is called a “Parents Retreat”.  This side section, yet open to the master bedroom with no doors, is a place for the parents to sit and relax.

We will continue as a “profile peeker” and learn more about the Proverbs 31 woman.

Prov.31:22 “She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.”

This implies she makes coverings for her bed; and she is clothed in fine apparel.

This woman knows that both her home appearance and her personal appearance are important to her husband.

Do you ignore or neglect either one of these areas?

If you ignore either one of these areas, you are SHOWING fraud, laziness and disrespect to your husband.

I hope you have figured that out!  Before marriage he expected these areas to be taken care of.

Do you need a course in “clutterology” or need a visit from “Merry Maids?”

Whatever it takes girls, let’s just get it done!

The virtuous woman keeps an inviting atmosphere in her bedroom and all through her house she decorates elegantly.

I have heard that a bedroom should look ROMANTIC, which emphasizes to your husband the importance of intimacy.

Mine looks a bit like Hawaii, which to us is a romantic place.

If you do not know how to decorate, COPY.   Yes, copy!

Look at magazines or ask a friend to help you.

The next thing this virtuous woman did in this verse is, she dressed herself well.

You definitely do not have to be RICH to dress nice.

You get basic items and you just add to them items or colors.

Add jewelry, scarfs, hats, shoes, purses, belts and jackets or sweaters.

People who dress mannequins do these tricks.  SO CAN YOU!!

Women who are too lazy to fulfill their God given calling, use “false humility” to dress dull and drab.

You were created for your husband so you must maintain your attractiveness.

1Cor.11:7 “…the woman is the glory of the man.”

You know that when you were dating your husband, you went through great lengths to wear the right outfit.

You spent HOURS trying to get your makeup and hair perfect.

It is defrauding to now put that area at the back of your list.

CASE AND POINT:  I always remember a TV commercial where a wife would not let her husband use the good towels they received as wedding presents.  He asked her,  “Who are you saving them for, your next husband?”

Can I get a little CRUDDY here girls and bring it home?  If your marriage is getting a little dull, fix up your bedroom and yourself for your husband before another woman does!!!!!!

Unfortunately, even in CHRISTIAN marriages the divorce rate is the same, 50%.

Can we change that number with the Holy Spirit as our guide.

YES!!!

Start right now!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

CRISIS MANAGEMENT

Many things happen in our lives and in our marriages that bring us fear.

God did not give us a SPIRIT OF FEAR but of power and love and a sound mind.

As we once again, take a look into the Proverbs 31 woman and continue in our “profile peeking”, let’s see how she handled her fears in the time of crisis.

Prov.31:21 “She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.”

This woman takes things seriously when it comes to her family.

She plans ahead and practices crisis management so she does not have to be afraid of any DISASTER that may come her way.

Do you plan ahead?  Wives should always have a Plan B.

Or are you one of those kind of wives that starts yelling and showing anger when plans are CHANGED?

Does everything have to be done your way?

In the business world, they train for “Crisis Management”.  There are two kinds of “Leadership Crisis” in the business world: sudden crises and smoldering crises.  Sudden crises are circumstances that occur without warning and beyond control.  Smoldering crises are minor internal issues that, due to manager’s negligence, develop to crisis status.  Research shows how leaders must be competent in integrity, capability, mutual respect, and transparency to build trust.

Let’s look at what the apostle Paul went through as he was trying to successfully complete the will of God in his life.

2Cor.11:26 “In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren.”

While the apostle Paul was ministering in his day, him and his team ran into many problems.

That is why Paul said they were “…in perils in the city…” 2Cor.11:26.

The power and presence was with Paul as he faced his many CHALLENGES.

Paul never let any crisis keep him from doing what he was called to do.

To the best of his ability he pressed FORWARD and completed his responsibilities.

As the enemy kept throwing things at him in the city, he just kept marching forward with the Gospel.

Paul and his team also had “perils in the wilderness.”

It is very probable that Paul had to deal with beasts, venomous snakes, thieves and an array of troubles.

As they found themselves in various perils, they put their trust in the power of God.

On top of all this, Paul talks about “…perils in the sea…”

All of these demonic attacks were so that Paul would never go back on a ship again or anywhere for that matter.

He knew that he had a God given ASSIGNMENT and he was not going to let fears interfere on the goal.

Are you tough enough to be successful?

Can you KEEP from turning around during a crisis?

God has called you to be an equipped spouse, right?

Are you as committed as Paul was to reach your GOAL?

This virtuous woman had her family draped in scarlet.  These colors were worn by senators, kings, and emperors.  They were worn by the priests.

Are you covering your family with Godly garments?

If not, START TODAY!

You do not have to fear the future.

Put your trust in God.

Fighting the good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

12 THINGS SATAN DOES TO GET VICTORY OVER CHRISTIANS

Satan said to a convention of Demons, “As long as Christians stay close to God, we have no power over them.  So here are 12 things you can do to get victory over Christians.”

1)  Keep them busy with non essentials.

2)  Tempt them to overspend and go into debt.

3)  Make them work long hours to maintain empty life styles.

4)  Discourage them from spending family time together, for when their homes disintegrate there is no refuge from work.

5)  Over stimulate their minds with television and computers, so they can’t hear God speaking to them.

6)  Fill their coffee tables and nightstands with newspapers and magazines so they have no time to read the Bible.

7)  Flood their mailboxes with sweepstakes promotions and get rich quick schemes to keep them chasing material things.

8)  Put glamour models on TV  and on magazine covers to keep them focused on outward appearances.  That way they will be dissatisfied with themselves and dissatisfied with their mates.

9)  Make sure couples are too exhausted for physical intimacy so they will be tempted to look elsewhere.

10)  Make Santa and the easter bunny bigger than Jesus to divert them from remembering the real meaning of the holiday.

11)  Involve them in good causes so they won’t have time for eternal ones.

12)  Make them self  satisfied. Keep them busy working in their own strength so they’ll never know the joy of God’s power working through them.

Remember my demons, keep them busy!  Busy!  Busy!  Because we know what it stands for:

*  B=BEING

*  U=UNDER

*  S=SATANS

*  Y=YOKE

This article was supplied by Lisa Banks. (Author unknown)

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY Q & A –  5/14/11

QUESTION #1.  My husband does not shower or brush his teeth before going to bed.  How do I tell him to clean up?

ANSWER #1.  I Will make a couple of suggestions.

First, I wouldn’t tell him, I would ask him to or make a suggestion.  Then pray!

Second, along with that, you could add some incentives (sex).  Think of things he likes and do them for him.  Let him know that you are doing it for him so that he would practice cleanliness for you.  Of course, change the wording to suit him.  Then pray.

Third, if you ask and he tells you “NO”, and you try incentives and he still tells you “NO”, PRAY.  The last thing you can do is just wait on God.  It is not God’s fault, but in the mean time, the Holy Spirit will convict him.  You will have to know that every night God is convicting him till he responds.

 I know this must really hurt your feelings, but don’t take it personally.  He is not trying to hurt you, he just doesn’t put any value in it.   It is funny but some men would rather spend a whole Saturday polishing their old 50 Chevy then take a bath and put 20 minutes into their own body.

I am sure that there are other areas in your husband’s life that out shines what other men do.  It is just that he has this bad habit.  I always ask women, “Does he beat you?”.  “Does he molest children?”.  “Does he never work or is he a provider for you and his family?”

I think you get the picture.  Thank God for the good things in him and leave the “bad habits” to God.  He does a better job than us!  Wink! Wink!!

(Part 2)

This has nothing to do with the question above but I thought you might enjoy this joke given to me by Grace Watson called, ALL WASHED UP.

Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, “This isn’t a man’s job.”  “Oh, yes, it is”, his wife retorted, quoting 2 kings 21:13.  “I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish wiping it, and turning it upside down.”

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

KINGDOM BUSINESS

When our youngest daughter was taking ice skating lessons at about the age of nine, she had to have gymnastics.  Her lesson was about an hour so the first part of the lesson was stretching which lasted about 30 minutes.  It was a private lesson from a young man and when he was done with her, my whole body was hurting from just watching.  He pushed and pulled her the whole half hour.  I had to control myself from barging in and telling him to quit or he might break something.  My husband kept telling me that the coach knew what he was doing and we needed to let him do what he needed to do.  In the end she was able to do splits and all leg lifting that was needed for her ice skating competitions.

As we continue on with our “profile peeking”, we will see how the Proverbs 31 woman was stretched to her capacity.

Prov.31:20 “She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.”

This woman did MORE than just write a check,  she shows personal concern.

“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”

This is a woman that comforts the lonely, visits the sick and depressed, and delivers food to those in need.

“Why should I care???”

Jesus said that in order to please him, you have to care because He cares.

Jesus and the poor were INSEPERABLE.

The blind, hungry, lame, beggars, destitute and needy flocked around Jesus.

This is KINGDOM BUSINESS.

God has made it His business to show he cares.

Whatever is Gods business, is your BUSINESS.

Do you tell yourself, “It’s none of my business”, when you see a need?

There may be a real financial or material need right next to you.

CASE AND POINT:  I heard once that when you see any member of the armed forces in a public place, pay for his meal, especially if he is with his family.  They have the highest rate of divorce and they have limited finances to support their family.  If we are in an eatery, and my husband sees someone in uniform, he calls the server over and anonymously pays for what that military personnel is eating.  One time in an airport, I sent my brother to chase down a military man to give him some lunch money.  My brother is a very thoughtful person but after he chased the guy I explained why I did it.  Even if we don’t have much in our pocket, it will at least buy him a cup of coffee.

I am not saying this to get pats on my back, but to give you an idea so you can do likewise.

Just say, “Have a blessed day” and put some cash in their hand.

Do all this for the sake of the One who “…though he was rich, for your sake he became poor,  that we through his poverty might be rich.” 2Cor.8:9

Are the poor within YOUR reach?

They are within reach of your wallet, your energy, and your prayers.

It is your personal responsibility to find out where the poor are.

In the Old Testament, the law PROVIDED for one-tenth of the farm produce to be given to the widows, the fatherless and the poor.

Also, they were told to provide for foreigners, strangers and travelers.

In order to reach, you must stretch.

Psa.41:1 “…blessed is he that considereth the poor: The LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.”

With an outstretched hand, the virtuous woman cheerfully and freely serves the poor with her hands.

Your spouse and your children need to see you do these random ACTS of kindness.

Jesus taught by doing, and you need to do according to the example that was left for us.

Or am I wrong ABOUT DOING?

She seeks opportunities to do good and help those in desperation as she reaches out her hands to the needy.

Do you give TITHES and offerings in your church?

Do you help out those in the household of faith?

Can our LORD count on you to put kingdom business first?

Can HE??

Fighting that good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

HAPPY HANDS!

Years ago we went to see one of the cutest animated movies ever.  It was called “Happy Feet.”  This was about a young penguin who was born with feet that were different than the other penguins.  He was teased by all the other penguins.  His feet would dance instead of walk.  All through the movie, he was not excepted by the penguins because of his dancing feet.

As we once again, continue to be “profile peekers”, we will see how in Proverbs 31 this virtuous woman had “Happy Hands.”

Prov.31:19 “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”

Watch out if a woman’s hands are idle and if she is not engaged in worthwhile, constructive pursuits.

If the devil can catch a woman (or man) idle, he’ll set them to work for him.

When it says, “…she layeth…”, it tells us that by her example, she provokes her servants to labor.

CASE AND POINT:  There are times when I am so tired or so busy.  That is when my husband will ask me for help.  I immediately want to tell him “NO!!  When I see his determination and passion, I immediately find myself helping him.  Why??  His passion electrifies me and I start thinking of what I could possibly do, to do my part.

This woman sets an example of skillfulness and industriousness.

She DEVELOPS her skills and talents through education and diligent application.

What are you doing with the skills and talents that God has given you.

How many times has your husband asked you to help him with something, and because of your bitterness or anger, you have IGNORED his immediate need.

You sit on your gifting and abilities out of selfishness.

“Happy Hands”, the virtuous woman, is able to use what God has given her because of her Christ like attitude.

Phil.2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”

Your ATTITUDE should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

“Happy Hands” have to think positive and have a positive attitude.

Is the mind of  “self-emptying” in you?

This is needed in order for you to be the spouse that you and God, desire you to be.

In Phil. 2:5-8, it tells us that Christ humbled himself.  Lets see the steps that were taken by him.

1. Consecrated to humble himself. (v.5)
2. Laid aside His divine side (v.6)
3. Made himself of no reputation (v.7)
4. Took the form of a servant (v.7)
5. Was made in the likeness of men (v.7)
6. Humbled Himself (v.8)
7. Became obedient unto death (v.8)

These verses are saying that He (Jesus) emptied Himself of His divine nature, to assume the form of a servant and become like man.

Do you believe this???

Jesus did that for us so that we can be with Him through ETERNITY.

This was not an easy task for Him but he did it willingly.

He asks us to be a servant to our spouse.

He knows that it is HARD for us so he left us a “helper.”

Have you ever watched “Cupcake Wars” on the FOOD NETWORK CHANNEL?  They give you a team in order to help you win.

The Holy Spirit is better than a team.

The Holy Spirit is God himself and he wants he help you WIN.

Why would you not want the Holy Spirit to invade your being, to help make you the spouse that God wants you to be.

You can do it right this minute.

Just ask the Holy Spirit to take complete control and let go.

You will see a miracle in your attitude.

You will have those “Happy Hands.”

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.